i feel like this sums up sam winchester’s life
HOW DARE YOU
I don’t think you’ll ever understand what your voice does to me.
God I feel so so awful and depressed, a few months ago I had it all, I was convinced my boyfriend loved me and we spent a lot of time together and I was convinced I wanted to be a teacher and I could see a bright future ahead and now I’m not convinced of anything at all and I don’t know what to do with my life, I just wished I was brave enough to end my stupid and useless life and let everyone around me live peacefully
I just can’t stop crying because I feel like shit and so alone these days, and everything about the future scares me, I know there’s nothing good ahead for me, the worst is about to come…
This whole week without him made me realize how much I need him around me to feel happy and secure, and I am so scared to lose him and to go through another week without him that I can’t even let myself enjoy being with him right know, this feels so ephemeral that I don’t know how to enjoy his presence without being scared for what is about to come.
I know he only needs more time and his own place to live in to begin to live fully his life there, and then I know he will meet new people and new girls, and he will realize that two years is pretty long and that he will not want to continue a long distance relationship with me when he could have another girlfriend in the same city as him. And this is the moment I am scared about, because I know it will happen, and it will kill me